Do Our Experiences “Define Us?”

I noticed people are quick to respond “no” to this question, but I tend to disagree. Our experiences shape us into who we become, so in a way, they do in fact define who we become, thus who we are today.

People’s immediate “no” to this question stems from encouragement and motivation, whether it’s regarding themselves or others. For example, if someone we know goes through something traumatic, and they say something along the lines of, “I feel like I’m going to feel this way forever,” any empathic person would want to say “of course not! You’ll get through it! This occurrence doesn’t define you!” The truth? The occurrence didn’t previously “define you,” as it didn’t happen yet. But once a hardship transcends, and the pain sets in, it becomes a part of you.

Every human being undergoes hardships in their lives, some objectively worse than others. But at the same time, every human being is presented with two courses of action – become a victim of your cards and spread your hatred and pain into the world, or use your pain to motivate personal success and growth, becoming a better person and spreading love back into the world. There is no in-between.